“Why did God give us sexual desire (lust) if it’s bad?

There is a difference between lust and sexual desire. God did give us sexual desire and it is not a bad thing. In fact it is a good thing. How else would we be attracted to a prospective spouse, and why would we even procreate if there was no “desire”?

So what is the difference between sexual attraction and lust? One dictionary says that “lust” is “uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.” Or to put it another way, lust is pornography of the mind.

How then do we know the difference between “looking” and lusting? The answer is to listen to your God-given conscience. It will tell you…if you have a mind to listen. There is nothing wrong with simply seeing someone and having the automatic thought that she is attractive. But that is different from then formulating sexual thoughts about that person to lust for her. In case you are having trouble hearing from your conscience, here is another clue to help you: How would you feel if your spouse were doing that behavior? Would you mind it if she was entertaining lustful thoughts for other men, having sexual fantasies about someone other than you? We often have a hard time seeing wrong behavior in ourselves, but have no trouble seeing it in others.

So God cannot be blamed for “setting us up to fail.” To believe that would be like a criminal saying to a judge, “Judge, I raped that woman, but it really isn’t my fault. God made me with sexual desire so it’s His fault.” If that will not hold water in a court of law, it is not going to be a valid defense on Judgment Day.

2 Samuel 13:1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.

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14 Responses to “Why did God give us sexual desire (lust) if it’s bad?

  1. The messenger says:

    He gives us the feelling of lust as a test. He wants us to have the will power to over come it and do what is right.

    • G says:

      That statement is wrong and not biblical

      **James 1:13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.**

  2. Ron Braley says:

    The emotion of lust – desire – is important in the right context. No lust, no sex. No sex, no multiplication. This would certainly be against God’s will. Remember that intent is critical, and so is the proper use of anything God has given us. Always ask yourself, “How will what I’m about to do (or think about doing) affect my relationship with God and His Christ and the treatment of my fellow man?” Blessings . . .

    • i think there is a difference between lust and sexual desire. both are sexual, but often lust may just invovle wanting to sle p with that person and nothing else. there is deesire which is sexual but you means you alsso may lvoe or care abotu them in other ways. and desire may often come from being in love

    • anon says:

      Good point. I agree. If you don’t have sexual appetite, then no sex. So you need lust to have sex, except it should be with feelings.

      • Hollis B says:

        Not really you don’t need lust for sex. If your significant other is attractive then you will be having sex based off of sexual attraction not lust. As the article states lust is imagining sex with a particular person as sexual attraction is just simply arousal. You can live without lust but you can’t live without arousel ( sexual attraction).

  3. fjoll says:

    There are plenty of other animals that are able to procreate without sexual desires for the sake of feeling good. I don’t know why god did it. Is he not capable of creating a human race that is unable to reproduce unless the enjoy the act of sex? He is god he can do anything so why give us this desire if we don’t need it. I believe that being relatively smart creatures that even if sex was boring or even uncomfortable we would still mate for the sake of not going extinct. I love sex with my spouse but still thinking logically and given the fact that the majority of sin full thoughts from most people envolve sex and that if heaven is perfect and nobody there will be doing it makes me think that we were set up to fail.

    • anon says:

      Knowing between right and wrong (sin) is what sets us apart from animals so you can’t compare apples and oranges.

  4. Dave says:

    I’ve always remained faithful when I’ve been in a relationship but Nothing turns me on more than knowing that I’m about to be trampled on by a large group of women. The more, the merrier! It’s a fantasy. I don’t foresee that ever changing. It’s too powerful for me. If it’s a bad thing, why does it give me such a stiff erection? I am absolutely powerless over this fantasy!

  5. Gregg says:

    This really helped me understand the difference and what is allowed in good eyes

  6. Joseph says:

    Married Christians are reluctant to tackle this issue because normal marital relations REQUIRE sexual attraction. If you don’t feel sexual attraction for someone then you can’t have sexual relations with them – this goes for men and women.

    Men are visual – we see women and we find them attractive. Even though women are different, certain cues trigger women to feel sexual attraction for men.

    It’s rare for a man to think “Wow! I’m attracted to her mind. I will walk up to that woman and start a conversation with her simply because of her mind.” (her mind being the only thing he has to go on, simply by watching her walk down the street or sitting at a counter drinking coffee). Most men will be attracted to something visual about a woman – legs, face, breasts, her glutes. Depending on the woman we might even feel an erection, yet that is something that is not addressed my married Christians. How do they find develop relationships with their spouses? Was there any sexual attraction for the wife before he married her? Alas, they won’t talk about it. Why? Because the Bible says that to even look at a woman with sexual desire is to commit adultery, so it would only be right to conclude that husbands have already committed adultery against their wives BEFORE they have married her.

    • Dan says:

      Sexual attraction/desire is NOT sin. The word lust in the bible and the word lust in modern English are NOT the same. Lust that Jesus spoke of meant COVET. The actual meaning of “if you look at a woman to lust after her” is “if you look at a wife to covet her”. Jesus was telling the crowd of married men that if they coveted their neighbour’s wife they were guilty of adultery of the heart. NOTHING new here, just the correct interpretation of the law.

      Christianity(actually Churchianity) has completely murdered that passage. Jesus wasn’t scolding teenage boys from having healthy sexual fantasies and exploring their God given bodies!. Sexual desire and fantasies are part of a healthy human life. Coveting what doesn’t belong to you is evil, it’s an intention. Fantasies are NOT intentions of the heart/mind.

  7. anon says:

    The “rape” analogy is a totally different thing. IT’s wrong, of course but that’s pushing someone against their will, which is different then excessive sexual desire, which is a different thing. They are unrelated.

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