There is a difference between lust and sexual desire. God did give us sexual desire and it is not a bad thing. In fact it is a good thing. How else would we be attracted to a prospective spouse, and why would we even procreate if there was no “desire”?
So what is the difference between sexual attraction and lust? One dictionary says that “lust” is “uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.” Or to put it another way, lust is pornography of the mind.
How then do we know the difference between “looking” and lusting? The answer is to listen to your God-given conscience. It will tell you…if you have a mind to listen. There is nothing wrong with simply seeing someone and having the automatic thought that she is attractive. But that is different from then formulating sexual thoughts about that person to lust for her. In case you are having trouble hearing from your conscience, here is another clue to help you: How would you feel if your spouse were doing that behavior? Would you mind it if she was entertaining lustful thoughts for other men, having sexual fantasies about someone other than you? We often have a hard time seeing wrong behavior in ourselves, but have no trouble seeing it in others.
So God cannot be blamed for “setting us up to fail.” To believe that would be like a criminal saying to a judge, “Judge, I raped that woman, but it really isn’t my fault. God made me with sexual desire so it’s His fault.” If that will not hold water in a court of law, it is not going to be a valid defense on Judgment Day.
2 Samuel 13:1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.